In Praise of Self Care

What comes to mind when you think of self care?  I’m sitting six inches from three slices of bacon and right now, that feels like self care.  Or wrapping myself in a wool blanket and watching my favourite Christmas movie in the middle of this snowy day. I loved to do this as a kid.  There are not guilty pleasures. They are opportunities to connect to my ability to know myself and feel joy. Nothing to feel guilty about here. We all need to cultivate a healthy entitlement to feeling good.

One of the landmarks of the Virgin’s journey is self care.  The ability to take a moment and give value to the things that bring you joy.  It is the well-spring from which we create a strong connection to our inherent worthiness of love. From here we have access to our insight into what is deeply meaningful (or curious interesting). It allows us to heal our hurt feelings and limiting beliefs, it points us towards our talents, and awakens us to our unique style of loving.

It also forms a foundation of resilience in our relationship with others. Grounded in our sense of self we don’t take it personally when our teenagers are swirling in drama or our neglectful – I mean exhausted - spouse just wants to know when s/he will be fed.

As story writers and movie makers we need to show that a strong connection to self requires time spent giving our time and energy to self-fulfillment.  Tin our personal Virgin’s journey, such as every time we face the page, we eventually come upon Dresses the Part. This is the alchemy of giving yourself a physical way to follow your piqued interest. What would aid you in exploring your area of delight? The budding young artist needs paint and brushes, the dancer needs shoes.  Think of Pretty Woman on Rodeo Drive.  When she tried on beautiful clothes she came alive. It challenged the idea that other people got to tell her what she is worth. When I’m living through the protagonist in a story I want that vicarious feeling of connecting to who I am and what brings me joy. The specifics aren’t as important as the genuineness of the feeling.

Excuse me for a moment while I relocate that bacon.  I have realized that my act of self care will be creating the conditions where I feel great in my sexy little party dress.  

Self care takes is subjective. Not everyone gets the same benefit from a long bath. That’s kind of the point. Finding your version of self care opens the door to the power of knowing yourself.

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A Variety of Virgin Stories

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The Way Way Back